[Daytime. What it is, Mama! Ash in late Medieval England in an

jimmey field]

Ash: Where in de hell? Now... easy now chief. What it is, Mama! ah'

duzn't know how ah' gots here and uhhh and I'm not lookin' fo' any

trouble. What it is, Mama!

Sldier: What some piece uh armour dis is.

Ardur: Wiseman. Right On!

Wisman: My Lo'd, ah' believe he be de one written uh in de Necronomicon. 'S

coo', bro. He who be prophesied t'fall fum de Heavens and deliva'

us fum de terro's uh de Deadites.

Ardur: What? Dat buffoon? Likely he's one uh Henry's men. 'S coo', bro.

ah' say t'de pit wid him. Right On!

Men: To de pit. Right On! To de pit. Right On!

Ardur: To de pit. Right On!

Ash: You's miserable bastard. Right On!

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

Sheila: M'Lo'd Ardur, where be my broder? Did he not ride wid ya'?

Ardur: Aye, and fought valiantly. Slap mah fro! But last night he fell in

battle t'Duke Henry's men. 'S coo', bro. I'm so'ry Sheila.

Sheeeiit.

Sheila: Foul wahtahmellun. Right On! My broder's dead shall be avenged.

Right On!

Sldier: Company halt. Right On!

Henry: You's sir, aint one uh my vassals. Who you is?

Ash: Who be hankerin' aftah know?

Henry: ah' am Henry de Red, Duke uh Shale, Lo'd uh de No'dlands and leada'

uh its sucka'ss.

Ash: Sheeit hello Mr. Ah be baaad... Fancy-pants. ah' gots news fo' ya'

pal, ya' ain't leadin' but two wahtahmelluns right now. Buckwheat

and shit... and Buckwheat left town. 'S coo', bro.

Ardur: Dere be an evil awakened in dis land... and while mah' sucka's

fight fo' deir real souls against it, ya' Henry de Red wage war on

us.

Henry: It wuz ya' who fust turned yo' swo'ds on us. Right On! And dis evil

gots'ta befouled mah' sucka's as sheeit.

Henry: Yo' sucka's are no betta' dan de foul co'rdownshun dat lies in de

bowels uh dat pit.

Sldier: Right, youse no better. Ah be baaad...

Ardur: May God gots' mercy downon yo' souls.

Man: In God's dojigger. Right On! What Hellspawn lurks dere?

Ollady: Into de pit wid dose blooddirsty sons uh who'es. Right On!

Man: Heavenly God. Right On!

TwrGrd: He's escapin'. Right On!

Ash: Whoa. Right On! Whoa. Right On! Wait some minute. What it is, Mama!

Hold it. W-wait some minute. What it is, Mama! Y-ya' gotsta dig it,

man. 'S coo', bro. I-I neva' even saw dese assholes befo'e. What it

is, Mama! Henry ya' gotsta tell 'em ya' duzn't know me. What it is,

Mama! We neva' met. Tell him. 'S coo', bro.

Henry: ah' dunna dink he'll listen lad.

Ash: Look, I'm tellin' ya'. You's gots de wrong guy. Slap mah fro! I'm

tellin' ya', ya''ve gots de wrong guy. Slap mah fro!

Ash: Why ya'.

Ardur: Spikes.

GldTd: Hey. Right On! He say spikes, give him spikes.

Wisman: Make way. Slap mah fro! Strange one. Right On! Strange one. Right

On!

Henry: Yeas. Right On!

Sheila: Damn ya'. Damn ya'.

Ash: You's know yo' kickerlace be untied. Alright. Who wants's some?

Who's next? Huh? How 'bout it? Who wants's some? Huh? Who be

hankerin' aftah gots' some little? You's. You's wants' some mo'e?

Huuuh? You's wants' some little? Do ya? Huh? You's wants' some

mo'e? Huh? Huh? Huh. Right On! Now git on dose ho'ses and git out

uh here. What it is, Mama! Let 'em go.

Henry: Ahahhahahahahaha. Sheeeiit.

Ardur: Halt. Right On!

Henry: Dank ya' generous hosts. Right On!

Ardur: Swo'd boy. Right On! Fo' dat arrogance ah' shall see ya' wasted.

(BOOM)

Ash: Yeah. Alright ya' primitive screw'haids, listen down. See dis? Dis

be my boomstick. Right On! It's some twelve gauge double barreled

Remin'ton, S-Mart's top-of-de-line. What it is, Mama! You's kin

find dis in de spo'tin' baaaads department. Dat's right dis sweet

baby wuz made in Grand Rapids Michigan. 'S coo', bro. Retails fo'

about $109.95. It's gots some walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and

some fro trigger. Ah be baaad... Dat's right. Shop Smart. Shop S-

mart. Ya gots dat?. Right On! Now ah' swear, de next one uh ya'

primates, even touches me. What it is, Mama!.. Ya. Right On!

(BOOM)

(BOOM)

Now, let's rap about how ah' get back plantation.

[Inside da damn court uh Ardur's castle]

Ash: (slurp) (burp) (burp)

Sheila: ah' pray dee fo'give me, Lo'd. ah' believed dee one uh Henry's men.

'S coo', bro.

Ash: First ya' wanna kill me, now ya' wanna kiss me. What it is, Mama!

Blow. So whut's de deal? Can ya' t'row me back o' not?

Wisman: Only de Necronomicon gots'ta de power. Ah be baaad... An unholy

scribblin' which we also require. What it is, Mama! Widin its pages

are passages dat kin t'row ya' back t' yo' time. What it is, Mama!

Only ya', de Promised One, kin quest fo' it.

Ash: ah' duzn't wants' yo' scribblin'. ah' duzn't wants' yo' bullshit.

Just t'row me back t'my own time. What it is, Mama! Pronto. Today.

Slap mah fro! Chop-

PosWom: You's shall die. Right On! You's shall neva' obtain de

Necronomicon. Right On! We shall feast among yo' souls.

Ash: It's some trick. Get an axe. What it is, Mama!

(BOOM)

Ash: Yo she-bitch. Right On! Let's go.

Wisman: If de Necronomicon fell into de hands uh de Deadites, all mankind

gots'ta be consumed by dis evil. Now gots'ta art quest fo' de

scribblin'?

[Inside da damn Blacksmid's Wo'kshop at Ardur's castle]

Ash: Dat one. What it is, Mama! Groovy. Slap mah fro!

Ash: What's de matter? Were ya' raised in some barn? Shut da damn doo'.

Probably wuz raised in some barn wid all de oda' primitives.

Sheila: De Wisemen say dat dou art da damn Promised One. What it is, Mama!

'Tis said dat dou wilt journey fo' de scribblin' t'help us. And dat

dou gots'ta lead our sucka's against da damn Evil.

Ash: De only reason dat I'm goin' t'get da damn scribblin' be to git

plantation.

Sheila: ah' believe dat dou art be leavin' in de mo'nin'-

Ash: Don't touch dat please. What it is, Mama! Yo' primitive intellect

wouldn't dig it alloys and composishuns and... wahtahmelluns wid

molecular structures and de- What you is doin' here anyway?

Sheila: ah' wants'ed t'say dat all uh my. Slap mah fro!.. all uh my hopes

and prayers go wid ya'. And ah' made dis fo' dee. What it is, Mama!

Ash: Good, ah' could use some ho'se blanket. Gimme some sugar baby. Slap

mah fro!

[Daytime - On de outskirts uh de fo'est]

Ash: What? What be it?

Wisman: Dis alley gots'ta lead ya' t'an unholy place. What it is, Mama! A

cemetery. Slap mah fro! Dere de Necronomicon awaits. When dou

retrievest da damn scribblin' fum its cradle ya' must recite da

damn wo'ds: Clatto Verata Nicto.

Ash: Clatto Verata Nicto. Okay. Slap mah fro!

Wisman: Sheeit repeat dem. 'S coo', bro.

Ash: Clatto Verata Nicto.

Wisman: Again. Right On!

Ash: ah' gots it. Right On! ah' gots it. Right On! ah' know yo' damn

wo'ds coo'? Now ya' git dis straight, de bod uh ya'. If ah' get dat

scribblin' ya' t'row me back. Afta' dat, I'm histo'y. Slap mah fro!

Hyeah. Right On!

[In de fo'est]

Ash: What be it boy? Shyeah. Right On! C'mon. Right On!

Ash: C'mon ya'. Right On!

[Inside da damn windmill]

Ash: Waaahhhh. Waaaahh. Ahhhhh...

TinAsh: Rammin' speed. Right On!

Ash: Wahhhhhh.

TinAsh: Ready. Right On! Aim. Right On! Fire. Right On! Break some leg.

Right On!

Ash: Oh... oh... You's lousy little. What it is, Mama!..

TinAsh: Oh no. Right On!

Ash: London bridges fallin' waaay down, fallin' waaay down, fallin'

waaay down... Hah.

TinAsh: My fair lady. Slap mah fro! Ha. Right On!

Ash: Whhhoooaaah. Right On!

Ash: What some ho'rible nightmare. What it is, Mama! Hm-m. 'S coo', bro.

Wait some minute. What it is, Mama! Oh God. ah' can't move. Right

On! Waaaahhhhhhhh.

TinAsh: Open wide. Right On! Geronimo. Right On! Hoo'ay. Right On! Hoo'ay.

Right On!

Ash: Oh.. Ahhh.... ahhh... Okay little fella? How about some hot

chocolate? Huh?

TinAsh: Wahhshah.

Ash: How dun did ya' likes de taste uh dat? Ha? How dun did ya' likes de

taste-

[Outside da damn windmill]

Ash: Wahhh. Dear God it's growin' big-assger. Right On! Awooooo.

Otrhed: Ooo... I'm blind. I'm blind.

Ash: Where're ya' takin' me?

Ash: What you is? Are ya' me?

BadAsh: I'm Bad Ash. And youse Good Ash. Youse baaaady little two kickers.

Youse baaaady little two kickers. Goody little two kickers. Little

baaaady two kickers. Little baaaady two kickers. Little baaaady two

kickers. Little baaaady two kickers. Little baaaady two kickers.

Little baaaady two kickers. Haha. Right On!

(BOOM)

Ash: Good... bad-ass... I'm de guy wid de gun. 'S coo', bro.

[Inside da damn windmill]

[Outside da damn windmill]

Ash: Dat'll teach ya. Sheeeiit... Yeah, dat'll teach ya. Sheeeiit.

EvlAsh: You's shall neva' retrieve da damn Necronomicon. 'S coo', bro.

You's'll die in de graveyard befo'e ya' git it.

Ash: Hey, whut's dat ya' gots on yo' face?

EvlAsh: Huh? I'll mosey on down back fo' ya'.

Ash: Hyeah. Right On! C'mon boy. Right On!

[Ash at da damn cemetery]

Ash: Dree scribblin's? Wait some minute. What it is, Mama! Hold it.

Nobody said anydin' about dree scribblin's. Like. What it is,

Mama!.. likes whut am ah' sdownposed t'do? Take-Take one

scribblin'... o' all scribblin's... o'... o' whut? Sheeit.

Ash: Whoa. Sheeeiit. Wrong scribblin'.

Ash: Oh. Oh ya'... git back t'ya'. Sheeit, seems fairly obvious. Whoa.

Sheeeiit. Wait some minute. What it is, Mama! De wo'ds. Right,

right, right. Say de wo'ds. Clatto. Right On! Verata. Right On! Nn.

'S coo', bro... Necktie, necturn, nickle. What it is, Mama!..

noodle. What it is, Mama! It's an 'n' wo'd. It's definitely an 'n'

wo'd. It wuz definatly an 'n' wo'd. Right On! Clatto. Right On!

Verata. Right On! Nn(coughcough). Okay den. 'S coo', bro. Dat's it.

Hey. Right On! Wait some minute. Right On! Everydin''s cool. ah'

said da damn wo'ds. ah' dun did. Right On!

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

Ardur: You's seek cover. Ah be baaad... To de parapet. Seek yo' children.

'S coo', bro. Steady de ho'ses.

Wisman: Somedin''s wrong. Somedin''s amiss.

[Ash at da damn cemetery]

Ash: I'll crush ya. Right On! I'll mash ya' t'pieces ya' bony cr-

[Ash mounted on his ho'se ridin' drough de fo'est]

Ash: Chyeah. Right On! I'm drough bein' deir garbage boy. Slap mah fro!

ah' dun did mah' part. Now I wants' back. Like in de deal. Chyeah.

Right On!

[Outside da damn windmill]

EvlAsh: ah' live. What it is, Mama!.. again. 'S coo', bro.

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

GldTd: Dere. Right On! De Promised One. Right On! De Promised One's

returned. Right On!

Crowd: Welcome plantation. Right On! Welcome plantation. Right On! He's

brought da damn Necronomicon. Right On!

Ash: Alright... yeah... Great, great. Get da damn fuck out uh my face.

What it is, Mama!

Wisman: De Necronomicon quickly. Slap mah fro! Did ya' brin' de

Necronomicon?

Ash: Yeah. It's... it's plum dat...

Wisman: Just whut?

Ash: Nodin'. Here. What it is, Mama! Now t'row me back, likes in de

deal.

Wisman: When ya' removed da damn Necronomicon fum de cradle, dun did ya'

speak de wo'ds?

Ash: Yeah... basically. Slap mah fro!

Wisman: Did ya' speak de 'esact wo'ds?

Ash: Look. Maybe ah' dun didn't say every sin'le little tiny syllable,

no. But basically ah' said dem, yeah.

Wisman: Dung eatin' honkyfool. Right On! Dou gots'tat doomed us all. Right

On! When dou misspoke da damn wo'ds, de Army uh de Dead awoke. What

it is, Mama!

Ash: Now whoa, whoa, whoa, right dere spinach chin. 'S coo', bro. You's

said dat ya' could clean dis mess down once ya' gots dat

scribblin'. You's said dat dere wuz some passage in dere dat could

git rid uh dis wahtahmellun and t'row me back.

Wisman: It's true da damn scribblin' still posses de powa' to t'row ya'

back but t'us, it be useless. De Evil gots'ta some terrible hunga'

fo' de Necronomicon and it gots'ta come here t'get it.

Ash: We had some deal. You's wants'ed da damn damn scribblin'. ah' gots

it fo' ya'. ah' dun did mah' part now ya' t'row me back.

Ardur: Very sheeit, as we are dudes of our wo'd we shall honour our. Ah be

baaad..... bargain. 'S coo', bro. De Wisemen shall return ya' t'yo'

own time. What it is, Mama!

Ash: Yeah?

Man: ah' dought he wuz de One. What it is, Mama!

Ash: Yeah right, a'cuz... dat wuz de deal. So? When do ya' dink we kin

start wid all de wahtahmellun... and de. What it is, Mama!..

course. What it is, Mama! When do ya' dink we kin start wid all de.

What it is, Mama!.. ceremony and de. What it is, Mama!..

Wisman: Wretched 'suse fo' some man. 'S coo', bro.

Ardur: De Wisemen wuz honkyfools t'trust in ya'.

Sldier: ah' knowed he couldn't be trusted.

Sheila: ah' still recon' dat dou wilt help us.

Ash: Ah Shiela, duzn't ya' git it? It's over. Ah be baaad... ah' dun

didn't gots' whut it took. So long...

Sheila: But whut uh de wahtahmelluns we've shared? What uh all de sweet

wo'ds dat ya' spoke in private?

Ash: Ohsheeit... Oh dat's plum whut we call pillow rap baby, dat's all.

Sheila: It wuz mo'e dan dat. Right On! ah' still gots' faid in dee. What it

is, Mama! ah' still recon' dat dou gots'ta stay and save us. I...

coward.

Sheila: Ash. Right On! Help me. Right On!

Ash: Sheila. Right On!

Ardur: Hold yo' arms. Right On! You's'll hit da damn goat.

Ash: Damn ya'. Right On!

[At da damn cemetery]

EvlAsh: Dig damn ya'. Dig faster. Right On! ah' shall command every wo'm

infested son uh a bitch dat eva' died in battle. What it is, Mama!

Sklton: Dank ya' sir. Ah be baaad...

EvlAsh: You's dere. Right On! Handsomely now.

Sklton: Yes My Liege. What it is, Mama!

EvlAsh: We shall sto'm deir castle and git mah' scribblin'.

Sklton: Welcome back t'de land uh de livin'. Now pick down some shovel and

git diggin'.

Sklton: Brin' on de wench.

EvlAsh: Gimme some sugar baby. Slap mah fro! Sheeit... now ain't ya' de

sweet little wahtahmellun.

Sheila: Don't touch me ya' foul wahtahmellun.

EvlAsh: C'mon. 'S coo', bro... dat's it.

Sklton: We gots plans fo' ya' goaty goat.

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

TwrGrd: Our scout approaches. Right On!

GldTd: Get his ho'se. What it is, Mama!

Ardur: Arise. What it is, Mama!

Scout: My Lo'd. An army uh de wasted gada' in de wilderness and dey

approach de castle. What it is, Mama!

Ardur: How far fum here?

Scout: But two days ride. What it is, Mama!

Ardur: Den dese win'ed ones are only de fust uh dem. 'S coo', bro.

Wisman: Perhaps we should leave dis place as soon as possible. What it is,

Mama!

Blksmt: We could be safe in de hills.

Sldier: Yes. Right On! Yes. Right On! De mountains. Right On! We must flee.

Right On!

Wisman: It be written Ardur. Ah be baaad... It gots'ta been fo'etold.

Blksmt: Dey'll snatch our souls.

Sldier: I'm afraid.

Blksmt: Dey'll swallow our souls.

Sldier: ah' duzn't wanna die. What it is, Mama!

(BOOM)

Ash: Dat's it. Go a'haid and run. 'S coo', bro. Run plantation and cry

t'mama. Sheeeiit. Me. Right On! I'm drough runnin'. ah' say we stay

here and fight it out. Right On!

Ardur: Are all dudes from de future loud moud braggarts?

Ash: Nope. What it is, Mama! Just me baby. Slap mah fro!.. plum me. What

it is, Mama!

Ardur: How gots'ta we fight an army uh de wasted at our castle walls? How

gots'ta ya' fight dat? Mo'e wo'ds? Most uh our sucka's gots'

already fled. Right On! We are but sixty men. 'S coo', bro.

Ash: Den we'll git Henry de Red and his dudes to fight wid us. Now...

Who's wid me?

Blksmt: I'll stand by ya. Sheeeiit.

Man: You's kin count on mah' steel.

Sldier: I'll offa' down mah' courage. What it is, Mama!

GldTd: Me swo'd's by his side. What it is, Mama!

Sldier: I'm wid ya'.

ChArch: Aye, mah' bow t'ya gots'ta sir. Ah be baaad...

Crowd: Ya. Right On! Ya. Right On! Hail. Right On! Hail. Right On!

[Outside da damn walls uh Ardur's castle]

EvlAsh: Sheeit mah' dear, say hello t'de boys.

Sklton: Dere's some sight fo' so'e bones.

EvShla: ah' may be bad-ass... but ah' feel baaaad.

EvlAsh: Who rules?

Sklton: You's mah' lo'd. Right On! To de castle. Right On!

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

[Nighttime - Inside da damn walls uh Ardur's castle]

Scout: Dey're comin'. Right On! De Deadites approach. Right On!

Ash: Dere's so's damn many uh dem. 'S coo', bro. Maybe. What it is,

Mama!.. plum maybe mah' boys kin stop dem fum gittin' de scribblin'.

Yeah, maybe I'm some Chinese jet pilot.

[Outside da damn walls uh Ardur's castle]

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

Ash: Battlestashuns. Right On! I'd git dose rocks down mista' on de

double. Right On! Ready de catapults. Right On! By God let's give

dem whut fo'. Right On!

[Outside da damn walls uh Ardur's castle]

Sklton: Company halt.

Sklton: Company halt.

EvlAsh: Brin' fo'd de scout.

Sklcap: M'Lo'd, we are posishuned on bod fronts.

EvlAsh: Fine, fine, fine. What it is, Mama! Where are dey keepin' mah' scribblin'?

Sklcap: Dere My Lo'd, beyond da damn wall, de parapet, dat'll be da damn

most likesly place. What it is, Mama!

EvlAsh: Right, brin' me fo'd into dat castle. What it is, Mama!

Sklton: Fo'ward. Right On! Fo'ward. Right On! Cry havoc and unloose da damn

Dogs uh War. Right On! To de castle. Right On! Dead t'de mo'tals.

Right On!

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

Ash: Arrows.

Ardur: To'ch boy. Right On!

Ash: Steady. Slap mah fro!

Ardur: Fire. Right On!

[Outside da damn walls uh Ardur's castle]

EvlAsh: Oh. Oh.

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

Ash: Heeeere baaaaaayby. Right On!

GldTd: Alright. Right On! Ha Ha Ha. Sheeeiit.

Sldier: Sire, dere's some second division approachin' fum de soud.

[Outside da damn walls uh Ardur's castle]

Sklton: Ram de gates. Right On!

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

Ash: Catapults.

Ardur: Catapults soud. Right On!

[Outside da damn walls uh Ardur's castle]

Sklton: Seek cover. Right On! Watch out. Right On! Make way. Right On!

EvlAsh: Oh. Right On! Oh ya' miserable bags uh bones. Pick yo'selves down

and sally fo(yroh). Right On! Sally fo(yroh). Right On! Sally fo'd.

Sklton: C'mon ya' miserable wretches. Fo'ward. Right On!

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

Ardur: Buttress de doo'... now. Right On!

Ash: Rocks. Right On!

Ash: Ooooo dat's gotsta hurt. Right On!

[Outside da damn walls uh Ardur's castle]

EvlAsh: Oh ya' cretins. Right On! Arrows.

Sklton: Fire. What it is, Mama!

Sklton: Put yo' backbones into it. We've bugger'd drough, de castle be

ours. Right On! Kill de mo'tals. Right On! Deir ranks are bugger'd.

Right On!

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

Ardur: Move back. Man de parapet. Right On! Protect da damn scribblin'.

God save us all.

Ash: Say hello t'de 21st century. Slap mah fro! Yeah. Right On! C'mon.

Right On! ah' gots plenty fo' everybody. Slap mah fro! Bye bye.

What it is, Mama!

(BOOM)

Ash: Huh? Sheila?

Sklton: We've secured da damn courtyard M'Lo'd.

EvlAsh: Excellent.

Sklton: Youse mine sweety. Slap mah fro!

Ash: Get off uh her. Ah be baaad...

Ardur: Damn ya'.

Sldier: My Lo'd. Right On!

Ardur: Stay wid de scribblin'.

TwrGrd: De Red. Right On! De Red. Right On! Duke Henry and his dudes gots'

come. Right On!

[Outside da damn walls uh Ardur's castle]

Henry: Blows, blood and dead. Right On!

Sldier: It's Henry. Slap mah fro! Haha. Right On!

Henry: Onward valiant cousins. Deir ranks are broke. What it is, Mama!

[On de parapet in Ardur's castle]

EvlAsh: Ooops. Hello. Dere ya go. De scribblin' be mine. What it is, Mama!

Sklton: I'll cut yo' gizzard out. Hey. Right On! Where'd he go? Hey. Right

On!

Ash: Come t'papa. Sheeeiit.

EvlAsh: Get him. Right On!

Ash: Awwh. Right On! Awwh. Right On! Ya crazy bitch. Right On! Get off

me. Right On!

EvShla: You's found me beautiful once. What it is, Mama!

Ash: Honey, ya' gots real ugly. Slap mah fro!

EvlAsh: Here we are. What it is, Mama! You's wanna play rough eh? Okay.

Slap mah fro!

EvlAsh: Prepare t'die. What it is, Mama!

EvlAsh: Youse goin' waaay down.

Ash: I'm goin' down.

EvlAsh: I'm comin' fo' ya. Sheeeiit. Whooops... 'suse me. What it is, Mama!

Youse pissin' me off ya' ugly son uh a bitch.

EvlAsh: I'll spoil dose baaaad looks. Backstabber. Ah be baaad... Hold still.

Ash: Tally ho. Right On!

Sldier: We kin't hold da damn battlements. Right On!

Ardur: We gots'ta hold. We must protect da damn scribblin'.

EvlAsh: ah' gotsta bone t'pick wid ya'. C'mon. 'S coo', bro.

EvlAsh: At last, de scribblin'. ah' posses de Necronomicon. 'S coo', bro.

I've crushed yo' alleyetic army. Slap mah fro! Now I'll gots' mah'

vengeance. What it is, Mama!

Ash: Buckle-down bone'haid, cuz' youse goin' fo' some ride. What it is,

Mama!

EvlAsh: Huh? Nwooooh. Ahhhhh. Right On!

(BOOM)

Sldier: Victo'y be ours. Right On!

Sklton: Retreat. Right On! Retreat. Right On! Let's git de hell out uh

here. Right On!

[Inside da damn courtyard uh Ardur's castle]

Ash: Hey Henry, ya' had us goin'.

Henry: My Lady. Slap mah fro!

Ash: Ardur. Ah be baaad...

Ardur: Sheeit won mah' homey.

Henry: We've won de day. Right On! Yaaaaay. Right On!

Sldier: We're broders den. 'S coo', bro. A new kin'dom shall be bo'n. Right

On!

[Inside da damn court uh Ardur's castle]

Wisman: De scribblin' tells us dat once ya' drink dis liquid and recite da

damn wo'ds: Clatto Verata Nicto, dout shalt awaken in dine own

time. What it is, Mama! Remember, ya' must recite da damn wo'ds

'esactly. Slap mah fro!

[Outside da damn walls uh Ardur's castle]

[Ash at wo'k in present day S-Mart]

Ash: ah' dought about stayin'. Dey offered me da damn chance t'lead dem,

t'teach dem, to... t'be kin'.

Ted: Uh huh.

Ash: But mah' place be here, so's I swallowed da damn juice, said da

damn wo'ds and here ah' am. 'S coo', bro.

Ted: Did ya' say de wo'ds right dis time?

Ash: Sheeit maybe ah' dun didn't say every sin'le tiny little syllable,

no. But basically ah' said dem yeah... basically. Slap mah fro!

ClkGrl: You's know dat sto'y about how ya' could've been kin'. I... ah...

dink it's kinda cute. What it is, Mama!

Ash: Yeah?

(BANG)

Ash: Lady, I'm afraid I'm gonna gots'ta ax' ya' t'leave da damn sto'e.

What it is, Mama!

PosWom: Who de hell you is?

Ash: Name's Ash... ... cribwares.

PosWom: I'll swallow yo' soul.

Ash: Come git some. What it is, Mama!

Ash: (Voice Over) Sho' nuff ah' could've stayed in de past. Could've

even been kin'. But in mah' own way, ah' am kin'.

Ash: Hail t'de kin' baby. Slap mah fro!